The Troubled Duo
by Amaya Murasaki
Summary: This story is funny to you if you like raw humor.Any way if you like it please submit a review and i am working on the next part of this story.
1. I Hate You Uryuu

Ichigo and Uryuu were walking together at school. Ichigo was tall with bright orange hair and an attitude that went along with his hair. Uryuu was shorter than Ichigo by a bit and had beautiful black hair that he cut himself (his character makes him seem a bit emo). Ichigo was a bit of a trouble maker and he hated Uryuu. Uryuu was a pretty boy and hated Ichigo so much. They both were sent to the principal's office for questioning. When they finally got there Ichigo sat in the chair like he was sitting down for an interview. "It all started when I first came in to class", started Ichigo, "and this idiot was sitting in my seat (pointing at Uryuu). That didn't really bug me, until I saw him making faces behind my head my head. He was trying to impress some girl of probably or the hot jock guy in our class." Then Uryuu put his hand into a fist and hit poor unexciting Ichigo. And sat down in the chair he had gotten up from. Ichigo looked at him and yelled in Uryuu's face, "What was that for dickweed!" Uryuu ignored his comment and pushed up his classes because it was a sign that he gave to some one that meant I really don't care what you think because you're a loser I refuse to waste my time on. Then Uryuu looked at the principal and said, "Sir, do you really believe this imbeciles lies. He is over exsaturating, for I just rolled my eyes and the girl next to me laughed, for I am a very funny guy. Any who after this ICHIGO stood up in front of the class, yelled at me, as he did like now and GAVE ME A SUPER BIG WEDDGIE!" Ichigo was laughing in the chair so hard both Uryuu and the principal though he was going to soil himself in piss. The principal waited for Ichigo to stop laughing .He was a thin man who seemed cool until you started talking to him. He was not all gray but was probably in his late 30's. Then the principal stood from his chair and told the boys, "Well I think I have heard as much as I can take. So there for I order you both to have "Out School Suspension" for interrupting a class for no good meaning what so ever! And I want you two come back to school with a better relationship". Both boys were in total shock, though Ichigo was more so than Uryuu. So he stood on the principal's desk and pointed and yelled at him, "SO YOU WANT ME TO DATE THIS UGLY FUCKER"! Uryuu was red and told Ichigo as he pulled him down from the principal's desk, "He means he wants us to get along. You are the biggest idiot ever, and because of you I am now going to lose my perfect attendance record"! Their principal then said, "and now because of that little incident I was you two to spent your little suspension together. Now go before I expel you both permanently." They were kicked out of school for three months and had to spend as much time together as if they were going out. Ichigo seemed to cool down and said, " I am going home and so we might as well go together since ass wipe back there said _we have_ _to spend time together._" Uryuu realized it would be pointless to fight so he just said, "Sure Ichigo."

Uryuu and Ichigo had been walking for quite some time. Uryuu was thinking a bit. He turned to Ichigo who looked so concentrated he almost looked like a different person. "You know Ichigo we will be missing out on a lot of school and that means homework. And this is where I want to offer you my skill by tutoring you," said Uryuu pushing up his glasses. Ichigo stop and gave him a look, "so you want me to tutor you. I am sorry Uryuu I am not the one you should be asking, since you're like the smartest in our class," Ichigo said this looking down like he was all that and a bag of chips. Then Uryuu started to turn red and steam seemed to come out of his ears, "NO YOU DUMASS, I WAS ASKING IF YOU WANTED ME TO TUTOR YOU"! Uryuu seemed to blow Ichigo away and now Ichigo had a look on his face like you could tell he was going to say something sarcastic. Then he wanted to see if Uryuu was though and then said, "God, man you are worse than my sister when she's on her period." Uryuu had had enough so he stormed off and didn't say a word. Ichigo was proud he got rid of Uryuu because he hated to hear him yell and complain all the time. Then Ichigo looked down and saw that Uryuu had dropped something. It was a note and it was to Orihime.Ichigo go knew her well because they meet at the age of eight and she always had known how to kick Ichigo's ass. Ichigo unraveled the note it read at the top:_ My dear Orihime, I have noticed you for quite some time. We my have talked to each other though please know I love you and every part of your beautiful self. Love Uryuu._ Ichigo thought it would be a funny sight Uryuu and Orihime going out. "Well I think I should give back lover boy's love note so he doesn't get his panties in a bunch. And may be tease him while I am at it", Ichigo said this as if he was a scientist that made a brand new discovery. Uryuu was at his house already. He was a lonely little guy if any didn't know that. He lived by himself well he also had a little dog that he never told any one about because not only was a little pretty puppy dog it was a gay one, literally. He would also make sweater for it in his spare time (he was in the handy hands classes were they do crap like that). The dog was wearing a pink sweater that read: Uryuu's little man. Soon the doorbell rang and Uryuu was in his room, "I wonder who that could be." He went to open the door to see who it was. Sure enough it was Ichigo. Uryuu immanently closed the door. And Ichigo banged on it and yelled, "OPEN THE DOOR. I HAVE THAT ONE LOVE NOTE YO U WROTE FOR ORIHIME" Uryuu looked in is pocket. Then he opened the door and said, "Ok Ichigo you better tell me when did you took it from me and tell if you read it." Ichigo smiled and said, "and what if i did."


	2. An Old Friend To Be Executed

Back in the Soul Society there was much trouble, for Renji Abarai that is. Renji was you average soul reaper. He had long and beautiful crimson hair, which was almost always tied up in a high pony tail.He was around average height and had a body suit of tribal tattoos. Renji was to be killed for helping Rukia Kuchiki,who was one of Renji's best friend back in the Rukongai district. She was a prisoner of the past for losing her powers and not wanting to come back from the Human World. Renji was one of the Soul Reapers that helped her escape, the other was Ichigo Kurasaki."Renji your death sentence is to be put to rest and you will die in a month from now," this was said by Renji's old partner Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya whom was Rukia's brother had never really favored Renji. Byakuya was the head of the Kuchiki family and a powerful captain. He was taller than Renji and had lengthy black hair, which was always worn down. He looked like Rukia, though they acted totally different. He was not kind like his adopted baby sister. And now to know his partner had committed such a crime made him feel so ashamed. Maybe even more than he did with hearing of Rukia's sins. As Renji began," Please Byakuya forgive me. I know I did many stupid acts in my life, though I did them with plenty of reason." As Byakuya looked up at Renji you could see no forgiveness in his face. Then he suddenly reached over and harshly slapped Renji across his face.Renji's face was red, even more so than his hair, and he not look his captain in his eyes.Instead he looked down at his feet. The look Renji had on his face was like a dog which has been hit for disobeying his owner, and that was how Renji felt."Good reason, Renji Rukia was a criminal and needed to be put to rest.You idiot, can you not see that she is nothing and that is what should be to you. If it was not for that you could have been a great and would have never been locked up like this.So I will not talk to you until the day of your death. Oh and you will not escape as easily as your friend Rukia", yelled Captain Kuchiki.Then he left and did not spare a word. The guard soon came to lock Renji in his cell. "SLAM", went the cell door right in Renji's face. Renji then took hold of the jail cell bars and though, "so this is real and I will be killed in a month from now. Damit, I hope Rukia is okay." Then he let go of the cold metal bars and laid down on the bed in his cell, which was not so comfortable. "So this is prison. Man it sucks there is nothing to do except stare at the celling.Then Renji slowly closed his eyes and began to fall asleep.

--

Back in the Human World all the employees at Kisuke Urahara's shop were opening up the store. As usual both Ururu and Jinta were playing out in of the shop. They were both small children. Ururu was a little girl with cockroach like bangs which bugged Jinta. Jinta was a hot headed little boy that is aways picking on Ururu. "Hey look there is a costumer coming," said Ururu. Jinta clobbered her on the head and said,"we only have like one costumer and that Rukia Kuchiki." Then Rukia went up to the two and said,"good morning you two. Do you know if Urahara is awake?" Ururu was going to say something when Jinta annoyingly said," WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING. That lazy ass won't be up till one!" Rukia was not going to wait because she just got back from the soul society and was waiting all day in a jail cell. Then she soon saw him right behind Ururu. Kisuke added to what Jinta was saying, "Well is that so, I am a lazy ass. i would prefer plain lazy, but since I am the owner of this shop I will just fire you." Of course Urahara was joking but Jinta was red and Ururu was hiding a large then cut in and started asking Urahara,"so Urahara can you tell me about what's going on in the Soul Society." Kisuke soon lost his joking smile, and Rukia began to worry. "It's Renji, they are going to kill him for helping you escape,"said Kisuke depressingly. Rukia was in shock because Renji was one of her dearest friends. "Kisuke when will he be executed ,"asked Rukia trying to hold back tears. Kisuke sat down and answered,"well a month in the Soul Society and if your thinking of rescuing him it will be almost impossible. They have raised security after the last time we went there, but I know that won't stop you. So I will do my best to put together a rescue squad." Rukia then lit up and said,"thanks so much Kisuke. And now I will go get Ichigo." And with that Rukia left to find Ichigo. Kisuke watched Rukia leave then he turned to Jinta and Ururu. "I only hope this works,"said Kisuke.


End file.
